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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26768380">Aces Wild: Sam Antics</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSiegePerilous/pseuds/TheSiegePerilous'>TheSiegePerilous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Acesverse [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Loud House (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comedy, F/F, F/M, Loudcest (The Loud House), Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:29:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,255</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26768380</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSiegePerilous/pseuds/TheSiegePerilous</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Sharp has a great life. Her girlfriend is everything she could have she could have wanted and more, and her similarly wonderful boyfriend is strangely adept at attracting female attention through no fault of his own.</p><p>This is the story of her trying to leverage that strange, fringe benefit for her own amusement. An Acesverse story.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lincoln Loud/Fiona, Lincoln Loud/Luna Loud/Sam Sharp, Lincoln Loud/Sam Sharp, Luna Loud/Sam Sharp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Acesverse [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
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<p></p><div><p>A young woman trudged through the food court of the Royal Woods Mall, a smoothie in one hand and a burger clutched tightly in the other. Spying a table that was both vacant and relatively secluded, she quickened her pace, looking around warily as she did so, fully intent on shoulder-checking anyone who would dare to take her prize from her. Thankfully no such obstacles presented themselves, and a small, rare sigh of contentment, she slid into her newly claimed seat. Fully intent on enjoying her brief reprieve from the cloying throngs of shoppers.</p><p>Fiona frowned at her choice of meal. She'd sworn off mall food some time ago. Aside from just generally being bad for you, it was also far too easy to get complacent with such substandard fare due to how convenient it was. But today was an especially bad day, the kind of day that only grease and calories could assuage, so she reluctantly took a bite, trying not to linger too much on how much she'd apparently missed the taste of processed meat, and silently swore that she'd hit the gym twice as hard on her next visit. Maybe she'd bring Leni along. Not that Leni ever <em>needed</em> to go to the gym, for as long as Fiona had known her the blonde was perpetually the perfect picture of health; soft, generous curves working in tandem with lithe, surprisingly toned muscles, resulting in a package that was equal parts demoralizing <em>and </em>infuriating. Despite that, however, Leni's unrelenting positivity was strangely infectious, and that made her the perfect gym partner, and a good friend besides.</p><p>Life after highschool hadn't been the easiest for Fiona. She watched friends move onto bigger and better things, and yet her life remained fairly stagnant, at least by her reckoning. She still worked at Reininger's, though thankfully now as management, rather than as a sales associate. There were definitely perks that came with the position, namely having underlings to deal with the bulk of the work that she and her friends had previously been responsible for, but it wasn't all sunshine and daises. Contrary to what she'd previously believed, Ms. Carmichael apparently had not gotten to spend her days kicking back in her office and finding new ways to annoy her employees. There were quotas to meet, inventory to manage, and customers to appease. She'd thought that she could at least leave the latter behind, seeing as she no longer needed to man the register herself, but in fact, being manager meant that she exclusively got to deal with the angriest and most obnoxious customers. The "I'd like to speak to your manager" variety, that followed through on their threats to complain to the corporate office with distressing frequency. That, combined with the increased work hours, which did <em>not </em>come with enough of a pay increase to justify the stress that came with her new position, was what resulted in nights like this. Spending her scant moments of freedom sighing into a burger and feeling sorry for herself. The one positive that came out of her current situation was a newfound drive to change things around for the better. She'd started taking night classes at the local junior college, putting aside what she could spare from her paychecks so that eventually she'd be able to transfer into a four-year program somewhere else. Then she'd get her fashion degree, and hopefully be able to put this retail stuff to bed for good. But that was a ways off. So for the moment, she'd just need to settle for this job, and this burger.</p><p>"Why hello there."</p><p>...And whatever this was. Fiona blinked slowly as her brain shifted gears from self reflective, to sociable. Or, at least, as sociable as she could get on a work night.</p><p>Fiona looked up from her meal, and was surprised to find that her uninvited guest was a young woman, roughly her own age. She was lean, blonde save for a distinct streak of blue, wearing an unusual combination of purple jeans juxtaposed against a teal jacket and white t-shirt. It was a rather colorful look, particularly compared to the drab outfits she was used to seeing at work. It niggled at her something fierce. She was certain that she'd seen this girl before, but she couldn't quite place her.</p><p>"I just <em>had </em>to come over and ask you a few questions." The girl said, sliding into an empty chair opposite Fiona. "Because <em>those </em>hips, don't lie."</p><p>Oh. Fiona could feel her retail mask slipping away as her face adopted it's natural look of indifference, mixed with a small amount of annoyance. So <em>that's </em>what this was.</p><p>"Right." She grunted. Putting her burger down. "Look, uh..."</p><p>"Sam." The blonde quickly answered with a confident smile. "Sam Sharp."</p><p>"That a real name?" Fiona replied dryly, shaking her head. "Look, I'm flattered, but not interested. Alright? Also, I'm on my break. So kindly leave my table and—"</p><p>"Woah woah woah." Sam protested, holding up her hands to forestall any further rejection. "You've got it all wrong."</p><p>"<em>Do </em>I?" Fiona's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Because you came on a little strong."</p><p>"I'm a people person." Sam said, shrugging. "It's what I do."</p><p>"...I honestly don't know how to respond to that."</p><p>"Well you won't have to!" Sam announced. "Because I'll be doing all the talking!"</p><p>"I don't—"</p><p>"Sam is talking now." The girl in question interjected, primly folding her hands in front of her. "Now, while I was back thataway—" She jerked her head backwards to demonstrate. "I saw this pretty young thing sitting all by herself, and thought "gee, now <em>that's</em> a girl who could use some company.'"</p><p>"Like I <em>said</em>." Fiona growled. "I'm flattered, but—"</p><p>"And that's why I brought you some." Sam interrupted. She then turned her head and yelled over her shoulder. "Hey, Lincoln! You're up!"</p><p>"Say what—" Fiona began, but her inquiry was cut short as a young man jogged into view, quickly rushing towards their table.</p><p>"W-was that the signal, Sam?" He asked, panting. "I couldn't read your note. You've gotta stop writing those things in crayon—"</p><p>"It's good for my soul!" She retorted, grabbing the boy by the scruff of his neck and yanking him into the chair next to her. "Now have a seat and meat my new friend—"</p><p>"Fiona." He said, a small smile working its way onto his face. "We've met."</p><p>"Lincoln Loud." Fiona nodded in greeting. "It's good to see you."</p><p>And to her surprise, it actually was. Fiona had met the boy some five years ago, when he was just Leni's mildly insufferable, but ultimately well meaning little brother. Since then, the Loud boy had become a bit of a ghost. Even when she'd gone over to visit Leni, he seemed to be the one Loud sibling who was never around, and when she'd been curious enough to ask after him Leni was always strangely evasive about the topic. It was strange, but she'd come to suppose that Lincoln simply just had an active social life, and soon ceased to concern herself with it.</p><p>Apparently she should have been paying closer attention, time had been good to the sole male Loud. The cute little kid from her memories had grown up, and then some. Tall, lanky, and with a bit of a stoop that bespoke a tendency towards spending long hours hunched over a table, not to mention apparently <em>still </em>having yet to outgrow those doofy polo shirts he'd loved so much, puberty had been good to the Loud boy. There was something about his quiet smile, and his bright, inquisitive eyes that made her feel...drawn to him.</p><p>"I'm so glad you two already know each other!" Sam exclaimed, wrapping one arm around Lincoln and pulling him close. Too close, for Fiona's liking. A feeling which only intensified when the blonde girl reached for Lincoln's hand and clasped it tight, their fingers threading together in a way that didn't seem especially platonic.</p><p>Are..." Fiona ventured, trying not to seem too eager. "Are you guys...together?"</p><p>"Yep!" Sam nuzzled her face into the suddenly flustered, pale-haired boy's face. Dammit, he was cute when he was embarrassed. "He's my boyfriend!"</p><p>Well, so much for that, then. Fiona was surprised at how much the revelation stung. At least now she wouldn't have to have a really uncomfortable conversation with Leni now. "Hey Leni, this might just be the crippling loneliness and my complete inability to hold down a relationship down talking, but I've got an itch that needs scratching and I <em>kind </em>of want your little brother to do it." Yeah, definitely for the best.</p><p>"Wait..." Fiona's brows furrowed as she replayed the last few minutes over in her mind. "If he's your boyfriend, then why were you hitting on me?"</p><p>Lincoln sighed, shooting Fiona an apologetic smile before turning to the girl at his side. "Sam, please tell me you didn't."</p><p>"I didn't hit on her." Came the girl's immediate response. Far too quickly, and apparently Lincoln thought so too.</p><p>"Sam." He repeated. "Please tell me you didn't hit on her. But also actually mean it."</p><p>Now it was <em>her </em>turn to sigh. "Fine!" She grumbled. "You got me! But there's a method to my madness!"</p><p>Fiona turned to Lincoln, her face crinkled in confusion. "Does she do this kind of thing a lot?"</p><p>Lincoln nodded. "There's a lot of madness, yes." <em>That </em>just raised further questions.</p><p>"I was just doing a good deed, sweetie." Sam pleaded, grabbing Lincoln's head and forcing him to look into her now pouting face. "Honest!"</p><p>Before he could say anything, Sam released the younger man and fully turned her attention back to Fiona.</p><p>"Look, I was telling the truth. I saw a pretty gal who looked like she could use some company, and so I came to provide that."</p><p>Fiona opened her mouth to once again rebuke the blonde, but Sam just pressed onward.</p><p>"And since you're clearly not interested in <em>all of this</em>..." Sam stood up and did a little twirl, gesturing at her taut, curvy body before taking her seat once more. "I've prepared an offer which you should find much more palatable."</p><p>Fiona looked to Lincoln, who only shrugged in response. "Meaning...?"</p><p>"Lincoln and I—" Sam indicated herself and her boyfriend. "Have a date night planned for this Friday, and we'd like you to join us."</p><p>Fiona opened her mouth, then shut it again. This process repeated several times. Then, she turned to address what was clearly the saner of the pair.</p><p>"Does..." She fumbled, trying to properly articulate her concerns. "Does she do this a lot?"</p><p>"As a matter of fact—" Lincoln began, but he was promptly cut off as Sam drove her elbow into his midsection.</p><p>"Three-person date." She said gently patting her now wheezing boyfriend on the back. "Our treat. Just bring your bad self—" It happened so fast that Fiona questioned as to whether it had actually happened, but she could have <em>sworn </em>she'd seen the blonde's pale, pink tongue briefly run across her pursed lips. "And I'll bring the goods." She concluded, gesturing towards Lincoln.</p><p>Fiona turned back to Lincoln, intending to politely decline. Their eyes met, and Lincoln gave her an understanding smile. And suddenly, Fiona had a very hard time articulating her refusal. It was kind and gentle. It said, "I hear your problems, and I support your decisions. Also, have you seen how hot my girlfriend is? Doesn't that make you wonder if there's a more...<em>tangible </em>reason she might be with me?" Fiona abruptly broke eye contact, pulling away from the Loud boy's mesmerizing gaze,and took a long drink from her smoothie, only stopping once her straw began sucking up empty air. Breathing deeply, Fiona looked to the cyan-streaked girl, now smiling smugly at her. <em>She knew</em>.</p><p>"I'm not saying yes." Said Fiona. "But what were you thinking exactly? Dinner?"</p><p>"And a movie." Sam chirped, leaning into Lincoln.</p><p>"That's it?" Fiona asked, archly.</p><p>"We'll see how you feel after the movie." Came Sam's confident reply.</p><p>Several moments passed as Fiona stared at the pair across from her, mulling over the situation. Then, with a heavy sigh, she reached down for her purse pulled out a scrap of paper, and scribbled a series of digits on it.</p><p>"Don't let her touch this" She said to Lincoln, taking his hand in her own and depositing the piece of paper inside, clasping her hand against his, good and tight in order to make sure he got it. Then for several seconds longer than was strictly necessary.</p><p>"You know..." San said, in a sultry voice, "If you're that eager, we could always—"</p><p>Fiona didn't hear the rest, as she was already scurrying away.</p>
<hr/><p>Sam sighed lustily as she watched the curvaceous brunette dash away, considerably more energized than she had been only moments earlier.</p><p>"You're the best boyfriend ever." She said, giving Lincoln a peck on the cheek.</p><p>"Sometimes you take things a little far." He replied, gingerly rubbing his stomach. "But I'm glad we can help Fiona out. Leni's been worried about her."</p><p>"Oh you're gonna <em>help</em> her out alright." Sam leaned in close and pressed her lips to Lincoln's, taking advantage of their relative solitude to indulge in a longer, more intimate kiss. Coming back up for air, she sat back down in her seat and nuzzled into her boyfriend's side.</p><p>"So, anyone else on this 'bucket list' of yours?" Lincoln asked putting his arm around her.</p><p>"Katherine Mulligan." Came Sam's immediate reply. "I want her to <em>read me the news</em>, and I'm gonna need your help charming her into it."</p><p>"I'm not sure how much help I'll be there." Said Lincoln.</p><p>"Exactly." Sam smiled brightly at his confused look. "That's why this works so well." With that, Lincoln shrugged, and the pair lapsed into companionable silence.</p><p>"Have you told Luna yet?" Lincoln said after a time. "I feel like she's going to want to know about this."</p><p>"That's <em>future </em>Sam's problem."</p></div></div></div><div class="maxwidth">
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
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      <p>Sam Sharp let out a very unfeminine grunt of discomfort as she struggled mightily against her bonds. Unfortunately, the limits of her fleshy, human form once again made themselves readily apparent. In spite of her frequent pleas to Lisa to ensure otherwise, <em>this </em>particular Sam Sharp was incapable of tearing steel asunder with her bare hands, and before long she was forced to concede victory to the stainless steel handcuffs clamped around her wrist. Clearly, brute force would be of no use here. It seemed a different approach was in order.</p>
      <p>"Lunaaaaa!" She whined, pouting at her captor. "It hurts!" Again the Sharp girl struggled fruitlessly against her manacles. "You could have at least used the sexy cuffs!"</p>
      <p>"Bad girls don't get the sexy cuffs." Luna replied, scowling down at the blonde.</p>
      <p>A lascivious grin broke out on Sam's face. "That's not what you said last—"</p>
      <p>"You know what I mean!" Luna barked, her stoic demeanor breaking ever so slightly as her cheeks began to color. Sometimes Luna made it too easy. However, before she could capitalize on the momentary flash of weakness, Luna spun around and stalked off.</p>
      <p>Sam leaned back in her seat, waiting for whatever came next. She'd been delighted when Luna had invited her over, even more so when her arrival at the Loud House had been immediately met with a text message to come up to Luna's room. With Lori and Leni both off at college, Luna had inherited their old living space, opting to keep it for herself while Luan remained in their old room, and a decision Sam had applauded. The new room was more spacious, more private, <em>and </em>came with a much larger, more opulent bed than the bunk beds her girlfriend had previously been sharing with Luan. Apparently it had been a going away present from Leni, hand crafted and made to last. They'd had a lot of fun stress testing the thing, and Sam had been delighted at just how much punishment it had managed to endure.</p>
      <p>Sam leveled a mournful gaze at the bed in question, sitting forlornly all by itself. Unused, unloved. The <em>second </em>she'd arrived, Luna had snuck up behind her and handcuffed Sam to a heavy wooden chair, presumably another present from the temporarily absent fashionista. Initially Sam had been delighted, Luna so rarely took the initiative, but it wasn't long before she'd realized what was really going on here. Luna was mad. At her. <em>Again</em>.</p>
      <p>As if summoned by her thoughts, Luna returned at that point, a folding chair clutched under one arm. Silently, her girlfriend strode across the room, set up the folding chair <em>backwards</em>, then straddled it, looking at Sam with an air of cool indifference.</p>
      <p>"<em>Oh no! She's hot!"</em> Sam wailed internally, already feeling her resolve begin to break. This didn't bode well.</p>
      <p>"So..." Luna drawled. "You wanna tell me why we're here?"</p>
      <p>"Are you taking suggestions?" Sam asked hopefully. "Because I've got a few."</p>
      <p>"No." Luna said, flatly, seemingly unmoved by the blonde's sexy pleas. "But that's about what I expected, so I'll cut to the chase. I know about Fiona."</p>
      <p>"...Oh." Said Sam, her voice suddenly several octaves higher. She took a brief moment to clear her throat. "I can explain—"</p>
      <p>"Please do." Luna smoothly interjected, motioning for Sam to continue. Sam opened her mouth, fully intending to do so.</p>
      <p>"Leni said Fiona was sad, and I thought Lincoln could her by being kind, and understanding, and just kind of generally offering her a comforting presence in her life."</p>
      <p>Luna's brow furrowed in confusion. "Wow, that actually sounds—"</p>
      <p>"With his penis."</p>
      <p>"—Exactly like the sort of thing I was expecting." Luna deadpanned, letting out a quiet sigh.</p>
      <p>"Are you questioning the validity of my methods?" Sam asked, intentionally sounding more offended than she actually felt. Unfortunately, it seemed like Luna wasn't playing along.</p>
      <p>"Yes." The rocker replied. "Am. Have been. Forever will be—"</p>
      <p>"You could have stopped at 'yes'." Sam muttered.</p>
      <p>"—But mostly I question what you've accomplished by having Lincoln screw that poor girl's brain out." Luna shook her head, exasperated. "Our little family's already big enough. And here you are, haphazardly throwing more girls into the mix." Luna's eyes narrowed. "What's the goal here? What do you get from this?"</p>
      <p>"Well I didn't <em>partake</em>, if that's what you're asking." Sam rolled her eyes. "I was strictly there as an observer."</p>
      <p>"I'll <em>bet </em>you observed." Luna grumbled.</p>
      <p>"I did <em>so </em>much observing." Sam took a moment to revel in her memories of that night.</p>
      <p>"Sam, you're...uh, drooling a little."</p>
      <p>"And there was nothing haphazard about it!" Sam pushed forward, discretely trying to dry her now damp face with her free hand.</p>
      <p>"Uh uh." Luna remained unmoved. "So tell me, where's little bro now?"</p>
      <p>"On another date. I thought Lincoln needed a change of pace, so I went with blonde and freakishly tall."</p>
      <p>"Leni is 6'2." Luna observed. "Becky is <em>6'4</em>."</p>
      <p>"Yeah." Sam let out a little chuckle. "That was a challenge, but I do good work."</p>
      <p>Luna chewed her lip thoughtfully. "Paula or Nikki?"</p>
      <p>"Yes."</p>
      <p>Luna blinked in confusion. "I was asking <em>which</em>..." Her expression fell flat once more. "Oh."</p>
      <p>Sam shrugged. "You ask a stupid question..."</p>
      <p>"I get it." Luna growled. "But <em>why?</em>"</p>
      <p>Now it was Sam's turn to sigh. "Well, I was going to keep this under wraps for a little longer, but...go check your closet."</p>
      <hr/>
      <p>"Just how long has this been in my closet?" Luna asked. "More importantly, <em>how </em>did you even get it in here!?"</p>
      <p>"It wasn't your closet when I sneaked it in." Sam replied.</p>
      <p>"<em>That </em>just raises more questions!" And Sam had no intention of answering those. She felt it important to ensure that there was always a little bit of wonder in Luna's life.</p>
      <p>The object in question was rather mundane in an of itself. It was a large, but otherwise unremarkable, mobile bulletin board, the kind that one could pick up at any office supplies store. What seemed to have Luna so stressed were the volumes upon volumes of graph paper that had been attached to the board, and then heavily annotated.</p>
      <p>"And <em>why </em>is <em>Tabby </em>on here?" Also the pictures. It was possible that Luna was taking issue with the many...many supporting pictures that had been attached.</p>
      <p>"Wait...this is from our beach trip!" Some of which were more candid than others.</p>
      <p>"It's the <em>timeline</em>, Luna." Sam explained.</p>
      <p>"You say that like it means something." Luna muttered, face palming. Nevertheless, she motioned for Sam to continue. Not one to be caught unprepared, Sam reached into her pocket and produced a laser pointer she carried around just for such an occasion. And also for playing with cats, which was always fun.</p>
      <p>"This here..." She indicated a segment on the far end of the board. "Represents our adventures five years ago. Lincoln produces a highly popular comic book with incestual undertones, you and your sisters find out about it, and we all end up finding ourselves in the happy harem situation that is currently our status quo."</p>
      <p>"Huh." Luna examined the board with a critical eye. "I'd never noticed just how irrelevant Becky ended up being to that whole thing. Maggie too. Doesn't that seem kind of weird?"</p>
      <p>"I think they both served valuable, and more importantly <em>entertaining</em> roles in those proceedings." Sam replied, neutrally.</p>
      <p>"I guess." Luna stroked her chin thoughtfully. "I think it just would have been better if there'd been <em>more </em>of them, you know?"</p>
      <p>Sam rolled her eyes. "It is what it is, Luna. There's only so much time in a day, and time sort of became a factor towards the end of that whole thing, when circumstances got pretty dire for a while."</p>
      <p>"Didn't seem to stop us from spending all that time playing that tabletop game..."</p>
      <p>"Nevertheless, all our lives took turns for the better following those events." Sam continued, pointedly ignoring her unusually critical girlfriend. "Your older sisters and Carol are on the road to achieving their respective dreams, and it won't be long before you and I get to take our own shot at that—"</p>
      <p>"And just how long, exactly, do you expect that to take?" Luna interjected. "Because a lot of people keep asking me when you and I are gonna get our music careers off the ground?"</p>
      <p>Sam gritted her teeth, equally annoyed at both the interruption <em>and </em>the reminder of similar queries she'd received. "It takes as long as it takes. There's...logistics and whatnot to worry about. The point is, what we went through made our lives better, and Lincoln is a big part of how things turned out the way they did. So that's when I got to thinking, what if we could make <em>other </em>people's lives better too?"</p>
      <p>"Seems like these pictures are exclusively of cute girls." Luna observed. "In and around the ages of ourselves, and my sisters, oddly enough."</p>
      <p>"What if we could make the lives of <em>specific</em>, very <em>marketable</em> people's lives better too?" Sam corrected herself. "And so, I came up with this. The Golden Timeline."</p>
      <p>"...It's cork board, babe."</p>
      <p>"Shut up, you know it's a metaphor." The smirk on Luna's face seemed to confirm her suspicions. "This is the timeline I've painstakingly constructed to ensure that Lincoln ends up being able to help every single one of these girls, just like he did for Fiona."</p>
      <p>There was a pause as Luna seemed to consider this. "And you get to...<em>watch</em>, all this...'help', I assume?"</p>
      <p>Sam squirmed in her seat, just a little. "I mean...unless my girlfriend decided to be <em>super cool</em> about the situation—"</p>
      <p>"She will <em>not</em>." Came Luna's immediate retort.</p>
      <p>Sam's shoulders sank, defeated. "Then yes, I will <em>watch</em>. And nothing else."</p>
      <p>Luna took her seat, looking Sam in the face once more. "Okay, look." She began, gesturing towards the board. "All this is...pretty on brand for you. So I'm gonna let this go for now. Mostly because, as much as I love my little bro, I don't think <em>either </em>of you have what it takes to arrange things so he gets with all these girls"</p>
      <p>"<em>Challenge accepted</em>." Sam muttered under her breath.</p>
      <p>"The real problem here is that you didn't tell me you were gonna be pimping out my boyfriend even for the one night."</p>
      <p>"<em>Our </em>boyfriend." Sam protested.</p>
      <p>"<em>My brother</em>." Luna growled. "I'm used to being sucked into your shenanigans, but I worry about my little bro, and I'm entitled to. Even if your intentions were good...and I'm still not convinced they were, you should have kept me in the loop."</p>
      <p>"But Luna!" Sam pleaded. "I only didn't tell you because telling you was going to be Future Sam's pro..." Sam trailed off, her eyes widening in realization. "Oh my god, <em>I'm </em>Future Sam."</p>
      <p>"...Right." Luna said, slowly. "Anyway, I don't know what...that's all about, so I'm just gonna leave you handcuffed here for a while so you can think about what you've done. Later." And with that she took her leave.</p>
      <p>"Luna, come back!" Sam whined as she watched her girlfriend walk away. "You didn't see the back of the board! Let me tell you about the timeline where we're giant super heroes! Or the one where Lincoln's a Harem King!" She received no answer, save for Luna shutting the bedroom door behind her. Defeated, and most importantly <em>bored </em>now, Sam sank back down in her chair.</p>
      <p>"Curse you, Past Sam." She grumbled, glaring at her manacled hand.</p>
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